To be an incredible sales professional, there’s one fundamental skill that is not only one of the most important but is also surprisingly easy to develop at a high level. That skill is asking great questions. Mastering it is one of the most impactful real estate selling tips I can share. I get to hear a lot about what agents are doing right and where they’re struggling, and this is a big one.
Why Asking Great Questions is a Superpower in Real Estate
To help our clients and prospective clients achieve their goals and solve their problems, we absolutely have to ask great questions. Think about it this way. When you go to the doctor, it can feel a bit annoying, can’t it? They send you forms to fill out online, then you get to the office and they hand you another clipboard. A nurse comes in, takes your vitals, and asks even more questions. Then, finally, the doctor comes in and asks you… you guessed it, more questions.
Why do they do this? Because it’s critical for them to get a clear and complete picture to diagnose you correctly. It’s just as important for us with our clients. We are in the business of helping people with one of the biggest financial decisions of their lives. We need the full picture to get it right. This is one of the most foundational real estate selling tips I can give you: Be more like a doctor and less like a typical salesperson.
Building Deep Rapport: A Lesson from Dale Carnegie
Asking great questions is also one of the best ways to build deep rapport. Many of us have probably read Dale Carnegie’s classic book, How to Win Friends and Influence People. When he wrote it back in the 1940s, titans of industry would travel across the country and pack houses just to hear him teach this very skill.
The simplest way to build rapport is one of the most timeless real estate selling tips: ask people questions about things that matter to them. Carnegie used a wonderful story in his book about going to the post office. He stood in line watching a crabby, rude postal worker treat everyone poorly. Dale’s goal was always to turn these situations around. He wanted to make this challenging person like him and want to talk to him.
When Dale got to the front, he said, “Wow, you have the best head of hair ever.” He’d noticed the man had this incredible hair, and Dale, who was bald at the time, said he was jealous. The man started laughing and went on and on about his family’s great hair. A simple, genuine observation followed by a question completely changed the dynamic. This is a key part of our real estate selling tips: pay attention to what is special, unique, or important to your clients.
Commonality vs. Rapport
Now, we have to be careful here. There’s a difference between establishing a commonality and establishing true rapport. Sometimes agents mistake the two. Let’s say I’m at your home for a listing appointment, Sherry, and I see shelves full of cookbooks. I might say, “Wow, Sherry, you must be a great cook! I’m a cook too, and I have that book, and let me tell you about this recipe I made…”
In my mind, I’m building rapport. But am I really? Frankly, Sherry doesn’t care that much about what I cooked for dinner. She cares about her goals. A better approach would be: “Wow, Sherry, you must be a great cook. Talk to me, what do you need in the kitchen in the new home we’re going to find for you?” See the difference? I made it about her.
The Art of Active Listening
To be great at asking questions, you also have to be an active listener. I don’t just mean hearing the words. I mean really listening to understand and reading between the lines. This is one of those real estate selling tips that can save you from losing clients without even knowing why.
Let me give you an example. Imagine you’re at a listing appointment and you ask the seller, “How do you feel about the price we’ve selected?” They reply, “Well, I see the data. I mean, I see your point.” A novice agent might hear that and think, “Great, they agree!” and move on. But if you’re actively listening, you pick up on the tonality and the phrasing. That does not sound like agreement, does it? That client isn’t ready to move forward, and the agent who didn’t listen actively is about to hear, “I need to think it over.” You have to pick up on those subtle cues, which is one of the most important real estate selling tips for pre-empting objections.
The Questions You Should Be Asking
When I was in high school, I took a journalism class. On the very first day, the teacher wrote on the board: Who, What, Where, When, Why, and How. He said if you have any hope of succeeding as a journalist, you always have to know the answers to these. It’s crazy, but when I got into real estate, I realized the exact same thing is true for every single buyer and selle.
So, I’d encourage you to think about your current leads. Do you know the who, what, where, when, why, and how for each of them? If not, it’s time to get them on the phone and ask some more questions.
The Question That Uncovers Everything
Here’s one of my favorite questions to ask when I’m booking a listing appointment. I say, “I’m curious, what are your expectations of the sales professional you will hire?” Write that one down. It’s a good one. Why do I ask this? Because whatever they tell me is their hot button. It’s one of the most important things to them in their relationship with you.
If they say, “I expect the agent I choose will have a strong marketing plan,” you now know where to focus. You can adapt your presentation to highlight your comprehensive marketing strategy. It also helps you identify their personality type. A high ‘D’ personality might want it sold fast, while a high ‘S’ will prioritize a good relationship and communication.
Real Estate Selling Tips for Navigating Sensitive Conversations
I know that some agents, especially those newer to the business, can feel uncomfortable asking financial questions. I get it. You wouldn’t normally ask a stranger about their income or credit score. However, we are in a financial conversation with our clients. We have to go there. You can ask these sensitive questions; you just need to be careful how you ask.
Here are a couple of my favorites. Instead of asking a buyer, “How much money do you have for a down payment?” I ask, “I’m curious, how much of your savings would you prefer to invest in the down payment?” It’s a much softer, more respectful way to get the information you need. For credit, I like to ask, “You know, sometimes in this crazy world, items that are not even yours may end up on your credit report. Is there anything on your credit report that you’re aware of that might need to be taken care of in order to get a loan for you?”
Use Question Softeners
You may have noticed I sprinkle in “question softeners” to make my questions feel less like an interrogation. These are simple phrases you can use:
- I’m curious…
- I was wondering…
- May I ask…
- Tell me, please… or Tell me more…
You don’t want to use the same one over and over, but sprinkling them into your conversations makes your questions feel more natural and less intrusive. These are simple yet effective real estate selling tips for smoother conversations.
Tonality and Phrasing
When you’re asking questions, especially tough ones, your tonality is everything. You need to come from a place of curiosity, not judgment. Let’s say a seller won’t adjust their overpriced home. It’s easy to say, “Mr. Seller, I don’t understand why you won’t adjust the price. Are you okay with not moving in the next 30 days?” Even if you don’t mean to be harsh, there’s a judgy tone that instantly makes them defensive.
Instead, try this: “I’m curious, Mr. Seller, were there any other options, other than selling the home, that you two might be thinking of?” This helps them self-realize they need to sell. It is one of the more advanced real estate selling tips, but it is so powerful. Also, watch your language. I try very hard not to use the word “but.” If you say, “I understand where you’re coming from, but…” you’ve just told them they’re wrong. Use “and” instead: “I understand where you’re coming from, and when we look at the market data, it does show us a different story.”
Neuro-persuasion studies show that when you talk fast and aggressively, you raise the anxiety of the other person, and they clam up. Slow down, calm down, and ask only one question at a time. Then pause. Pause after they answer. It shows you’re listening and absorbing what they’re saying. This is a crucial skill for effective real estate negotiation.
Preparing for Client Conversations
Here’s your takeaway. Before any important conversation, meeting, or phone call, I want you to take a minute and think about the three to five key questions you need to ask. Write them down. Then, look at them and decide on the order of priority. Remember, a Harvard study showed it’s often best to ask your bigger, tougher questions first, as it can set a more open tone for the rest of the conversation.
Don’t just write any questions. Be mindful of what you’re trying to accomplish. Think about how they are likely to respond and where you want the conversation to lead. It’s completely fine to walk into a meeting with a notepad and say, “I wrote down five really important questions I’d love to ask you. Would that be alright?” They will appreciate the effort you put in before you even met. For those looking for more real estate selling tips on this topic, I recommend the book The Seven Powers of Questions by Dorothy Leeds. It’s a great resource for learning how to formulate powerful questions.
Your Path to Becoming a Trusted Advisor
Remember, top performers don’t speak more than 50% of the time in an important conversation, and most of that time should be spent asking great questions. When you master this skill, you gain critical information, make clients feel special and heard, and identify their hot buttons. It helps you find their pain so you can offer the right solution. Most importantly, it helps them come to their own conclusions, which is far more powerful than you just telling them.
Mastering the art of questioning is one of the most impactful skills you can focus on. It will transform your business and your relationships with clients. If you’re ready to implement high-level strategies and grow your business with customized, one-on-one guidance, we’re here to help. Our clients often see 50% growth in their first year by applying these and other customized real estate selling tips, and we’d be happy to talk with you about how we can achieve that together. Schedule a free business strategy call with us today, and let’s explore your path forward.
